I can’t believe this is happening. And I don’t mean that in a breathless, wide-eyed, sweaty-palmed Buzzfeed fanboy sort of way. I mean it in a “I think you’re all a bit wretched for having encouraged this from Disney” sort of way.
I sure done seen near everything, but I ain’t never seen a Disney film handle racism well.
Let’s be real; in every way imaginable this weekend is Crap Christmas. Easter is the Justice League to Christmas’ Avengers – it has the same tedious check-list, just with fewer frills. Inevitably, along with the inevitable chocolate binge, this means each year we re-run debates on “the true meaning” of Easter. 2017, like every year, has featured the usual assortment of adorable videos of 3 year olds humorously critiquing the logistics of rabbits that lay eggs, as well as the usual tedious, forced stand-up routine from that friend, about whether someone who is resurrected is necessarily a zombie (sorry fella, Cyanide and Happiness outflanked you on that by a good decade); but of course while you might get some entertainment out of these finicky points of pedantry, they completely ignore the ideological undercurrent of the festival in its modern form. That’s why this Easter Sunday, we’re taking a look back at a forgotten work of savage satire; Antonia Bird’s Ravenous (1999).Continue reading →
OMG! I CAN’T EVEN. THIS IS EVERYTHING. So it’s official, The Lion King is getting a live action remake – and Hollywood Hegemony is here to confirm everything you need to know about this amazing cinematic re-imagining. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, #amIright? So in honour of the various Buzzfeed-type sites currently pandering to the swarm of salivating millennials already congregating outside Vue in anticipation, here’s a listicle – since that’s all you people seem to understand – telling you all about it.
Simba and Donald Glover. Can’t even tell them apart. Perfect casting.
There is something truly apocalyptic in the air. A fearful isolationist politics grips the UK as it seeks to quarantine itself from dangerous of Outsiders, while in the United States, a walking punchline has become President as American liberals have found to their cost that you can’t just laugh a Nazi off the ballot. The Right across Europe is on the rise, with neo-fascists projected to fair well in polls in France, Germany and the Netherlands, my new home. Never in my lifetime (I was born at the end of 1990, so the Cold War was literally ending) has the end of days felt so near – and in a strange way so welcome. With 2017 playing out like a cadaverous Reaganite tribute act, if there were hypothetically a zombie pandemic tomorrow, what would my interests be in preventing it? It’s the perfect time for a rebirth of a genre which had stagnated badly over the past two years.
It could be said that Rogue One was one of the most disappointing releases of 2016. I won’t be saying that though, because I wasn’t stupid enough to be roped in by the hype – it was never going to be anything but a sad piece of fan-fellatio; a blend of bright colours and loud noises that did the barest-fucking-minimum in adding to the Star Wars story, while maximising box office performance. To be honest, I wasn’t going to even bother with this – I missed most of 2016 doing my film festival, and was going to do a catch-up post – but it turns out in my absence most of you have developed the most repulsive of diseases; brand loyalty. It’s like you spent too much on plastic Stormtrooper gear to admit to yourselves this was a bad mis-step. Continue reading →
It’s the first Halloween in 4 years I haven’t released a new film – and while that fills me with a deep sadness, we can still enjoy the good times we had, right? So, make the most of your Monday-night Halloween, put your feet up, ignore the ringing at the door, the thumping of eggs on glass, and the… unnerving feeling of being watched… and enjoy the WHOLE Horror Cuts trilogy along with the 2 “special features” I produced after. Enjoy. Or at least, try not to scream too loud. -JB